


The Dangers of Friendship

by ficsoreal



Category: White Collar
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-15
Updated: 2010-04-15
Packaged: 2017-10-08 23:13:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficsoreal/pseuds/ficsoreal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neal decides to become Elizabeth's best friend and gets more than he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dangers of Friendship

In the end, Neal decided to blame Peter. Oh, he could have blamed Elizabeth or even taken the blame himself, but all in all, it was just easier to blame Peter.

The whole thing started the day after he met Elizabeth in person the first time. After he got over how much she resembled Kate, Neal quickly realized how useful she could be in his plot to stay out of jail. Elizabeth was not only beautiful, she was smart, funny, sympathetic to his plight and most importantly, she had Peter wrapped around her little finger.

"Mozzie," he said after that first meeting, "I am going to become Elizabeth Burke's best friend. She's the key to making sure Peter doesn't kill me or worse, send me back to jail." They were seated on the couch watching an old movie. Well, Moz was watching it.

"Not a good idea," Moz said, distractedly. "All your girl friends end up in bed with you."

"That is a gross exaggeration."

Moz looked at him. "Give me one friend, one name."

Neal thought about it. "Okay, but there's a first time for everything and Elizabeth's married." At Moz's skeptical look, he added, "To _Peter_." For some reason, he couldn't imagine anyone cheating on Peter, especially not Elizabeth.

Moz patted Neal's shoulder patronizingly, but despite Moz's reservations, Elizabeth proved to be invaluable. She smoothed over all the rough patches he ran into with Peter and even went as far as to hide him from the FBI when Neal escaped their badly dressed clutches. Elizabeth also baked fabulous cookies.

All Neal had to do in return was go on shopping trips, help secure outlandish venues for Burke Premiere Events and listen to Elizabeth talk about her sex life in excruciating detail. Excruciating, because her sex life was Peter's sex life and the last thing Neal needed was wood for the fire of his ridiculous crush on Peter Burke.

Maybe, he should have listed to Moz, because he was either in hell or on the way in an incredibly expensive hand basket. Sometimes, he couldn't tell the difference.

**

"Neal," Elizabeth said, leaning forward across the café table, "I was thinking about getting Peter something nice for his birthday. Want to help me pick something out?"

"Sure," he said, already thinking about ways to upgrade Peter's wardrobe. Peter could definitely use a new suit or twelve or maybe some a pair of good shoes or a couple of ties that cost more than ten dollars.

"Great," she said and took a sip of her strawberry milkshake.

The moment Elizabeth led him to the front door of La Perla, Neal should have faked a headache, an asthma attack or something and bailed like his life raft was sinking. Instead, he said, "Umm, I didn't know you meant this kind of gift," and dug his heels in.

Elizabeth grabbed his wrist and tugged excitedly. "I try to make Peter's birthdays special."

So much for Neal's birthday cards. "Peter is not going to like me helping you pick out lingerie."

"Don't be silly, Neal. Peter knows we're friends and friends help each other shop." She tugged again and Neal gave in, because they were starting to attract attention.

At first, he tried to maintain a respectable distance, but his love of shopping and Elizabeth's enthusiasm soon overcame his reticence. Before he knew it, he was making suggestions and helping Elizabeth carry panties into the dressing room.

It wasn't until Elizabeth was twirling in front of him, barely covered in purple trimmed black lace, that Neal thought _what the hell am I doing?_

He went home and jerked off furiously, caught between fear and desire.

After Neal dropped the third file on the floor at the office the next day, Peter frowned at him and said, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," he said, "nothing's wrong and I haven't done anything that might result in you killing me…slowly." He tried a smile.

Peter frowned harder. "Whatever it is, get over it. There's work that needs to be done and I can't concentrate with you about to fidget out of your skin."

Neal opened the file in front of him and tried to be useful.

**

"He loved his present," Elizabeth said and Neal almost stabbed himself in the eye with a paintbrush.

She continued talking, oblivious to his distress, "He ruined it, of course."

He put the paint brush down for his safety. Against his better judgment, he said, "Ruined it?"

"Oh, yeah. You would think that someone who worked with delicate artifacts half the time would learn not to be so rough on clothing." Elizabeth popped a handful of peanuts into her mouth and kept flipping through the book she'd liberated from June's shelf.

Rough. Peter was rough with her. Neal had always suspected, because Peter was definitely not a romantic and was the epitome of no nonsense, but to have his suspensions so artlessly confirmed.

Neal cleared his throat. "I guess he didn't realize how much it cost."

Elizabeth hummed noncommittally. She pushed off the couch and padded over to where he was sitting in front of the easel. He stiffened as she wrapped her arms about his shoulders and propped her chin over his shoulder looking at the half finished painting. "He really liked your card too," she said, mouth turned to his ear and he bit down on the inside of his cheek to stop from making noise as her breath rushed over his skin.

**

"After that, she started talking about how much Peter likes her underarms and how she's horribly ticklish." Neal threw his hands in the air.

"Uh, huh," Moz said.

Neal looked at him, willing him to understand. "_Then_, she asked me if I shave my underarms. What am I supposed to do?"

"Catch a clue." Moz turned the volume back up on the television.

**

Neal started having extremely explicit dreams. He'd jerk awake, gasping and hard beneath the covers, remembering images of Peter fucking Elizabeth against the front door of their house. Watching him use his big hands to hold her up and hold her open for his dick at the same time.

Often in the dreams, Elizabeth would be watching Neal. Like she wanted Neal to see Peter pounding into her and she wanted to see him taking it for Peter.

After the haze of lust faded and Neal was able to think again, he'd shake his head to clear the fanciful thoughts and try to get some sleep for another day at work.

**

"What do you think?" Elizabeth peered at him with wide blue eyes.

Neal shifted in his chair, cock hard against the zipper in his slacks. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I don't think we should spend so much time discussing your sex life with Peter. I mean, I have to go to work with him every day."

She looked at him, mouth turned down at the corners for a long moment, before reaching out to cover his hand with hers. "You're absolutely right, Neal. I've been selfish, taking up all our time together talking about my relationship. Let's talk about you."

"What?" This was so not wanted he wanted.

Elizabeth had a pensive expression on her lovely face. "I was just worried that it was too soon after Kate for you to be comfortable, but I should have asked about your feelings."

"What?"

"Tell me what you like? Do you date women exclusively? Peter said, but you don't want to hear about what Peter said. He was just trying to distract me from the article about pegging."

"Peter said what? Pegging?" Neal wondered if he looked as lost as he felt.

She nodded earnestly. "Peter didn't want to try pegging, because he's definitely more enthusiastic about fucking than getting fucked, but he said that you were probably into it and I should ask, but I thought it was too soon after you know."

Neal opened his mouth and nothing came out. Apparently, he'd used up his quota of whats for the afternoon. "I-I don't even know."

"I know," Elizabeth said. "He likes fingers when I go down on him, but he said he tried getting fucked when he was younger and didn't like it."

"I like it," Neal burst out in a fit of desperation to stop Elizabeth from talking about sucking Peter's cock and fingering his ass.

Her eyes lit up like stars. "Really?"

He snapped his mouth shut and tried not to die on the spot.

"Let's go back to June's," she said and signaled the waitress for their check.

**

The office was dark and empty except for the two of them when Peter finished the last page of paperwork in front of him and looked at Neal steadily. "So, you and El have been hanging out a lot lately."

Fear shot through Neal, quickening his heartbeat. "Yeah," he tried and moved his hands from the top of the desk to his lap.

"That's nice," Peter said and stared at him like he could see every filthy fantasy Neal had shared with Elizabeth about his cock which according to Elizabeth was thick and curved just a bit to the side. Neal squirmed.

"Look, it wasn't my fault; I just wanted to be her friend so you wouldn't try to kill me without thinking about her feelings on the matter. I only wanted to go shoe shopping and drink fruity drinks with umbrellas in them, but then she started talking about you fucking her up against walls and sucking your cock and what was I supposed to do?" Neal held his hands up imploringly.

Peter leaned back in his chair and Neal's eyes dropped automatically even though he couldn't see anything with the desk in the way. When he looked back up, Peter was smirking at him. "So, your solution was to get drunk and confess every dirty thought that's ever rattled around that head of yours to my wife."

"Well, to be fair, I only told her about the ones pertaining to you," Neal said, face burning. He'd very prudently decided against detailing the ones that involved him eating her out while Peter fucked him or sucking Peter's dick while she sat on Peter's face. Friends didn't talk about fucking each other.

"Uh huh," Peter said. "I still don't understand why you thought that was a good idea." He stood up, walked around to lean against the desk in front of Neal.

Neal rolled back in his chair a little so that he could look at Peter's face. Peter's brown eyes were sharp, brilliant with knowledge.

Peter loosened his tie and said, "You know she came home and told me everything you said, right? I had to spend an hour on my knees eating her out because of you?"

"What?" Neal was having a hard time following the conversation, especially since Peter was slowly unbuckling his belt and popping the button on his slacks. He rolled closer as if drawn on a string.

"She told me the day after meeting you that you wanted my cock and I laughed, didn't believe her." Peter put his hands on the desk. His cock was a thick curve pressing against his zipper. "Was she right? Or are you playing some sort of game? Do you want my cock, Neal?"

Neal wanted to ask if this whole thing was some kind of practical joke, if Peter and Elizabeth got off on playing with his head. Truthfully, they might get off on playing with him, but it was hard for him to believe this was a practical joke with Peter's hard on straining against his cheap pants. He reached out slowly and traced the bulge of Peter's cock, his eyes flitting between Peter's face and his lap.

"Elizabeth," Neal started and Peter finished roughly, "wants you to suck my dick."

He licked his lips and Peter's eyes narrowed; Neal looked down as he slowly pulled Peter's zipper down. He didn't bother with trying to get rid of the boxers, just liberated Peter's dick through the front of his boxers.

A soft sound escaped from above him, but Neal didn't look up. Peter's cock was every bit as great as Elizabeth made it sound, thick in his hand with a cut head. He leaned forward and pressed an open mouthed kiss to Peter's cockhead, dipped his tongue into the slit.

Neal drew back and said, "There are more than six cameras in your office alone."

Peter laughed, rough and low. "And you're worried about that now?"

"Right," Neal said and bent back down. His mouth was wet the instant he sucked Peter in and it made him squirm to think of Peter seeing him like this, sloppy.

"Yeah," Peter said and slid his fingers into Neal's hair. He cupped the back the Neal's head and held him still as his hips twitched upward.

A fresh burst of heat shot through Neal and he had to pull back, had to catch his breath and lick up the little dribbles of spit sliding down Peter's cock before they got to his pants even though Neal hated Peter's pants.

"I changed my mind," Peter said and Neal would have jerked away if Peter's hand wasn't clenched in his hair. "We should go home." He eased up on his grip so Neal could sit up.

"What?" Neal asked. His mouth was tingling.

Peter rubbed his thumb over Neal's bottom lip. "I want to fuck you in my bed." He stood up, forcing Neal to roll back and Neal watched as he stuffed his dick back into his slacks roughly.

"I don't think I can walk," Neal said as Peter grabbed his coat and hat and shoved them into his arms.

He stumbled as Peter yanked him up out of the chair. "You're going to say that again at the end of the night and it'll be true," Peter said into Neal's ear. His knees almost buckled.

The ride to Peter's house was excruciating, not only because Neal was still hard to the point of aching, but because the ride gave him time to think about what he was doing. He couldn't fuck Elizabeth's husband in her bed; they were friends.

"Peter," he said as Peter dragged him to the door, "I can't do this. What about Elizabeth?"

"What?" Peter said, not really listening to him. "What about El?" He was trying to unlock the door and failing in his haste.

"Well, I –" Neal said, but then Peter said, "Stop talking," and the door popped open.

"El," Peter shouted and El came around the corner with a confused expression that quickly cleared up as she took in the redness of Neal's mouth and the state of their clothes.

"Really?" She asked and Peter nodded. She clapped her hands in glee.

Apparently, he'd been worried for nothing. "I need to know the plan here, guys," Neal said, but he didn't get an answer because Peter was oh, so, helpfully stripping him out of his clothes and Elizabeth was standing on her tiptoes to tug him down into a kiss.

Elizabeth was a demanding kisser, exploring his mouth curiously one moment, then sucking his tongue the next. Neal shrugged free of his shirt and wrapped his arms around her waist bringing her in closer.

Peter made an approving sound behind him, a bass rumble, hands at Neal's waist, getting rid of his belt, undoing his zipper. Elizabeth's hands followed Peter's, touching the skin he bared.

"Whoa," Neal said, shocked, as Elizabeth dropped to her knees in front of him.

She pulled back with a frown and asked, "What?"

"You caught him off guard," Peter said knowingly.

He turned his head to try to scowl at Peter but Elizabeth quickly recaptured his attention by leaning forward again. Peter hooked his chin over Neal's shoulder to watch as she sucked at Neal's cockhead.

"Fuck, El," Peter said.

Neal was pretty sure that was his line if only he could breathe to speak. Elizabeth gripped his shaft firmly and sucked him down without any hesitation. Shock coursed through Neal, hand in hand with the pleasure of Elizabeth's mouth. In all Neal's fevered dreams, he never imagined Elizabeth on her knees for him. He'd always been on his knees for her.

"Ah," he said when Peter kissed down the side of his neck before biting the fleshy part of his shoulder.

"Feels good?" Peter asked him, hand stroking curiously down Neal's sides to his flanks.

"Peter," Neal said helplessly.

"I know," Peter said. "You don't know how she's tortured me. On and on about what she wanted to do to you once we got you home. What she wanted to watch me do to you."

Elizabeth pulled back with a wet sound. "Honey, come here," she said and Peter stopped pressing his dick against Neal's ass to go see what she wanted.

"Peter's inexperienced," Elizabeth informed Neal and he almost came on the spot. As it was, he swayed a little on his feet.

They were both still dressed. That's all Neal could think about as Elizabeth pulled Peter down to the floor beside her. He was completely naked and they were both fully dressed at his feet. Staring at his cock. "Umm," Neal said, shifting his feet, but Elizabeth shushed him.

"You know what you like, honey," Elizabeth said to Peter, one hand wrapped around Neal's cock and the other slid up into Peter's hair.

Peter licked his lips and let Elizabeth guide him forward.

Neal's hands clenched into fists at the first tentative touch of Peter's tongue. "That's it," Elizabeth whispered encouragingly and Peter looked up at Neal as if seeking his approval. Peter's eyes were dark, red splashed along his cheekbones. Neal was going to die; this was going to kill him.

Whatever was on Neal's face made Peter wrap his hands solidly around Neal's hip bones and get down to business. There was nothing like being the center of Peter's considerable focus and this was no different. Neal could feel the need to move building low in his stomach; half of him wanted to thrust because Peter's mouth felt so good and the other half wanted to twist away because the suction was too intense and Neal was going to come right down Peter's throat if he kept it up.

The decision was taken out of his hands because when El leaned down to lick around the seal of Peter's mouth, Neal's hips pushed forward thoughtlessly, greedily and they both pulled back to glare at him. El's glare was laced with amusement, but Peter looked genuinely annoyed.

"Umm," Neal said, "I think I need to sit down."

Elizabeth smiled. Peter said, "Upstairs." Seemed like he'd remembered his desire to fuck Neal in his bed.

The trip of the stairs was torture because El started stripping off articles of clothing as she went and Neal almost tripped over his own feet staring at her ass and he was sure Peter was staring at his.

Neal reclined on the bed at Elizabeth's insistence and she climbed into his lap. She was wet, skin slick against his as she leaned down to kiss him. He could hear the sounds of Peter undressing somewhere near the bed, but Neal kept his eyes closed and focused on making more soft, pleased noises escape Elizabeth's mouth.

"I want to ride you so much," Elizabeth said and Neal thrust up involuntarily as if she were already surrounding him. He gasped at the heat of her, imagining her hips rolling against his.

Neal wanted to taste her. They'd ambushed him at the door and he hadn't gotten to do anything. He cupped her ass and Peter made an appreciative sound. Neal urged her up his body until she got the idea and said, "Oh," breathlessly.

"Fuck," Peter said and the bed dipped as the mattress took his weight.

Elizabeth wasn't shy as she straddled Neal's face; she held herself open for Neal's tongue with one hand and the headboard with the other. It made Neal wonder how many times Peter had done this for her, ate her out while she rocked against his tongue.

Then concentration became nearly impossible, because Peter settled himself between Neal's legs and took up where he left off. Neal turned his head to the side and gasped into the soft skin of Elizabeth's inner thigh.

"Oh, he likes it, Peter," Elizabeth said. She climbed off of Neal and draped herself along his side, her hand low on his stomach.

Peter pulled off long enough to say, "He tastes like you."

Neal caught a glimpse of mischievous blue eyes before Elizabeth leaned in to lick at the slick on his chin. "He does taste like me."

The vibrations from Peter's groan made him arch up hard and Peter pushed him back down into the bed sheets. "Please," Neal said. He shifted restlessly beneath Peter's mouth.

Elizabeth rubbed his stomach softly, but Neal was past soothing. "Fuck me," he said.

"Oh, sweetie," she said. "There are no condoms in the house."

Neal swore tears sprung to his eyes. "Are you serious?" he wailed.

"Shh," Peter said. "Neighbors.

Neal glared at Peter over the hard, wet curve of his dick. Peter grinned and said, "Stop looking like that; we'll take care of you." Peter slapped Neal's outer thigh. "On your knees." Elizabeth moved back to give Neal room to roll over. His cock hung heavy between his legs.

"Gorgeous," Peter said and kneeled up behind him.

"What?" Neal tried to ask and Peter said, "You talk entirely too much." Elizabeth giggled.

Peter coaxed Neal into spreading his legs wider and arching his back. "That's it," Peter said, low and encouraging. Neal felt entirely too exposed for someone not about to get fucked.

"Are you going to…" Elizabeth trailed off meaningfully and Peter made an affirmative sound.

Neal wanted to ask, but he'd already been accused of verbosity. Then he didn't have to ask anything, because Peter was spreading him open and licking wetly over his asshole.

He lurched forward out of surprise, but when Peter hauled him back he went more than willingly. "Peter," he said and dropped his head down to rest on his forearms. Peter teased and licked at him while Elizabeth rubbed over his sides and told him how good he looked spread wide for Peter.

Peter pressed his thumb against Neal's rim, a threat and a promise. Neal shuddered and grabbed at his dick. He squeezed at the base when Peter sealed his mouth over his hole and fucked Neal with his tongue.

Elizabeth tugged his hand away and replaced it with her own, but the angle was wrong and she wasn't stroking fast enough. He twisted in frustration, bucking between the two of them. Peter's fingers bit into the tender skin of his hips.

"I need," Neal gasped and Elizabeth smoothed her thumb up through the trail of pre-come slicking his cock to its source. He shouted, Peter's admonishments forgotten.

"Like that?" Elizabeth said and Neal could only nod. His eyes were clenched so tight, his cheeks were hurting

"Mmmm," Peter said. His teeth caught on the edge of Neal's rim and that was it. Neal's cock jerked and pulsed in Elizabeth's hand, painting the sheets beneath him with come.

"Oh." Neal's legs were shaking. Peter gave him one last lick before pulling back and letting him go. Neal could feel the blood rush back into the grooves Peter's fingers' had made in his skin. He would have bruises tomorrow.

Elizabeth giggled and the bed bounced and shook next to the space Neal had collapsed in. He cracked open an eye to see Peter kneeling between Elizabeth's legs, fingers buried between her folds while he kissed her hungrily.

The little curling motions of Elizabeth's hips caught and held Neal's gaze; she was fucking herself on Peter's fingers. Warmth spread through him, tingling like mouthwash, and he turned over to get a better view of the action.

Peter's cock stood out from his body, proud between his legs. Elizabeth had a hand clenched in Peter's hair as she kissed him and a hand gripping his forearm. Their kiss broke with a wet sound.

"You're so wet," Peter said. He pushed Elizabeth's thigh wide and Neal could see how flushed she was, the shine of her desire.

Neal watched as Peter snugged his cock up against Elizabeth and she arched in welcome as Peter started the slow thrust inside. Despite the barely restrained frustration on Peter's face, he entered his wife slow and easy.

The wave of jealousy didn't particularly surprise Neal, he wanted to be fucked, to be on his back impaled on Peter's cock like Elizabeth currently was. He shifted closer and smoothed his hand down Peter's sweaty side. Peter's even strokes faltered at Neal's touch.

Peter was pale, obviously not a believer in tanning beds. Neal gave in to the temptation to cup Peter's ass, feel the clench of muscle as Peter moved within Elizabeth. Peter looked at him with hot brown eyes and Neal licked his suddenly dry lips.

"Oh," Elizabeth moaned and her legs went tense around Peter's waist. Peter said, "Fuck," and his thrusts went ragged and desperate.

Neal leaned down to kiss Elizabeth because he wanted to taste her pleasure and she gasped into his mouth. Peter claimed his mouth when Neal pulled back, biting at Neal's bottom lip.

Peter moved off of Elizabeth carefully and flopped down on the edge of the bed. "Fuck," he said again softly.

Elizabeth stayed where she was, eyes closed and legs splayed wide, breasts heaving as she tried to calm her breathing. She opened her eyes when Neal placed his hand beneath her belly button, fingertips flirting with her triangle of curls. The upward roll of her hips was an answer to a question Neal hadn't even asked yet.

He rubbed lightly over Elizabeth's clit and she jerked enough to jostle Peter into paying attention. Neal leaned down to lick at her navel as he pushed his fingers into her. The spill of Peter's come unmistakable around his fingers and Neal's cock plumped at the feel of it.

Neal raised his fingers to his mouth and tasted the unique combination of Peter and Elizabeth. They both made appreciative noises at him and Elizabeth reached down to touch herself. Neal smiled slowly and said, "So condoms." He had a feeling they were going to need an ample supply.


End file.
